Remember when?... Memory is a wonderful gift from God. The whole Bible is full of “memories” we call “history.” Throughout Scripture, we hear of God’s mighty acts in creation and redemption. We are called to remember what he has done for his people through the ages, not merely as a mental exercise, but to learn of the character of God and how he acts for his people and against his enemies. We remember so that we may know God and know how he will act in the future.
As with all gifts of God, memory can be sinfully twisted. I’m not talking here of distorting history, though that is certainly sinful. Memory can be sinfully distorted by a nostalgia that keeps us stuck in the past. We long for what we had (or think we had) in former days. “Remember all the good times we had in Egypt, where we had all the fish we wanted to eat, cucumbers, melons, leeks, and garlic?” (Num 11:5). Nostalgia can kill. You don’t want to let go. You live quixotically in the past, refusing to suffer loss and move forward. Nostalgia becomes your casket.
When Jesus told his disciples he was going away, he gently rebuked them for letting sorrow fill their hearts (Jn 16:6). I say gentle because their grief was understandable, especially given the less-than-happy circumstances of his departure through his disciples’ betrayal and denials. For sorrow to fill their heart meant that they were so overcome with grief at Jesus’ departure that they lost perspective on the advantages that they would gain (Jn 16:7). They wanted everything to remain as it was. They didn’t understand that losing their present lives would give them greater life in the future. It was time for them to grow up and take on the responsibilities for which he had been preparing them. That would mean loss, but it was time to put away childish things and become an adult (1 Cor 13:11). They would never forget Jesus’ ministry. That’s why we have the four Gospels. But they must move on to complete the mission, which will mean Jesus’ absence.
There are some things you can’t hold on to forever. Maturity means loss. Many times we desire to hold on to things so badly that we insist we can still squeeze into the clothes we loved when we were eight years old. But you’re twenty-five now. It’s time to take the clothes to Goodwill.
Not letting go, not suffering loss, will stifle your growth, keeping you in a perpetual state of immaturity, frustration, and bitterness. You can’t live in the past. God’s world is always moving forward through death and resurrection. Memories are precious, but they are past. Though we may legitimately grieve loss, we must also keep it in perspective. Yes, we lost this, but we gain so much more.
As I alluded to, desiring to remain in a past stage of life isn’t healthy. Furthermore, Jesus won’t allow it. He was going away whether the disciples came to grips with it or not. Jesus will move everything forward. He will take away your “childish” things. You have two choices: 1) You can kick and scream and become bitter, refusing to move forward, or 2) you can joyfully embrace the loss and focus on the new opportunities and responsibilities Jesus is giving you. Jesus’ disciples were in danger of choosing the former option. Jesus leads them to embrace the latter.
Change isn’t easy. Watching children grow and leave, marriage, new jobs, and new opportunities always present challenges. Sometimes we just want to go back to the “simpler days.” Those were happier times. If you try to live there in your mind, it will be your death. Don’t hold on too tightly to the things that will keep you stuck and eventually bitter. Jesus will make you let go of them one way or another because it’s for your good. Submit to the changes. Rejoice in past graces. Build upon them. But move forward.