Liberal Jesus Strikes Again

Three weeks ago, Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson caused quite the controversy over his comments on homosexuality. Media and social networking sites were outraged. Robertson was called a homophobic bigot by critics while fans of the show supported Robertson by wearing camouflage to church and buying a lot of Dynasty merchandise. And as one might expect from a nationwide frenzy centered around the Bible and sexual ethics, it was only a matter of time before Liberal Jesus showed up.
What do I mean by “Liberal Jesus”? I’m talking about internet memes that paint Jesus as a pro-gay, pro-abort, long-haired, socialist hippie. These memes attempt to demonstrate just how stupid conservatives are for basing their views on the Bible when Jesus supposedly never advocated conservative views himself. I’ve addressed memes like this before (here and here), but I couldn’t resist saying something about the newest Liberal Jesus that popped up following the Duck Dynasty fiasco.
This meme (seen below) comes to us from comedian John Fugelsang, the guy who co-hosted America’s Funniest Home Videos in the late 90s. He’s no Danny Tanner, that’s for sure, and if this meme tells us anything, he’s no biblical scholar, either.

There’s all kinds of emotionally-charged goodies here. It’s hard to read without wrinkling your forehead at every line. By the end, your brain turns to mush and you stare into the computer screen wondering where to even begin. When I recuperated, my first thought was, “Actually, Jesus probably didn’t have long hair.” But, that’s a relatively insignificant error compared to the rest and there’s no way I can address every claim in one blog post. Suffice it to say that though many of these claims are technically true, the implications behind them are utterly false.
According to Fugelsang the Church has interpreted Jesus all wrong for the last 2,000 years. The same Jesus who identified himself as the God of Israel (Ex. 3:14; Jn. 8:56-59) is now a 21st-century progressive. The same Jesus who instituted the death penalty for murder (Gen. 9:6), who was against wealth redistribution (Ex. 20:15), and who condemned all sexual activity outside of male-female marriage (Lev. 18:6-23) finally came down to earth and committed the most notorious flip-flop in history. To the contrary, Jesus did uphold the death penalty (Jn. 8:2-11; Deut. 17:6-7; Deut. 19:16-9), private property (Matt. 20:15), and male-female marriage (Matt. 19:4-6). I guess it’s easier to ignore the facts when you have an agenda to push.
Amazing, isn’t it? We’ve finally reached enlightenment! Now we know what Jesus really meant: “Had Enough? Vote Democrat.” Perhaps Fugelsang is funnier than I give him credit for.
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